Change

Day 18 – Change

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change” ~ Wayne Dyer.

For many people, one of the hardest concepts to accept in life is change, especially change that is sudden and unexpected.  One of the biggest challenges we face right now is dealing with the all of the changes resulting from the pandemic. These changes are especially evident now that the school year is coming to a close and students are transitioning to new grades or new chapters in their lives. Our fifth graders are ending their time at Pocopson without the traditions that highlighted their years together.  Many of us feel that we did not have the opportunity to say goodbye to this school year the way we wanted to. How we view these changes can influence our emotions and our reactions to change.  The changes that resulted from the pandemic were abrupt at first – it felt a bit like a tree falling in a strong gust of wind.  Like the sudden falling of a tree, many of us felt like our “roots” were ripped up and we were displaced with our schedules and routines.  At first, I personally spent a lot of time focusing on the suddenness of the change and the loss of the routines that made up my daily life. However, instead of focusing on the abruptness of the change, I realized that my time would be better spent figuring out how to adapt to this change (or as in the tree analogy, how to replant the tree).  When we replant a small tree or flower, it is done carefully and thoughtfully – we don’t rip it out of the ground and quickly place it somewhere else.  We carefully dig up the tree, prepare the soil, add food and water, pick a spot where it will best grow, and replant the tree. It is harder to move trees that have deeper roots, knowing they require more attention and care.  In our day to day, we tend to focus on the parts of the tree that we can see (the leaves, branches, trunk, etc.).  It isn’t until we have to make a change and then we give our full attention to the parts that we can’t see (such as the roots which are the strongest part of the tree).  When we replant something, we need to focus on those roots and the need to nurture them so the tree will continue to grow. During times of change, if we focus on our roots – our teachers who are continually adapting and helping us, our families who are continuing to support us, our friends who make life enjoyable – we realize that we still have all of those supports in our lives.  We are focusing on the loss of the physical representation of these things right now (the physical school building and classrooms to which we cannot return) but it was never the physical aspects of the building that made us strong.  It was the system of supports and the community that was created within those buildings that served as our source of strength.  Even though we can’t see those physical structures right now, our supports and our community are still there. Our trees might look different next year when we return or our trees may have been replanted, but there is always a system of roots to support us and help us grow.  Focus on those roots and nurture those roots when you are feel apprehensive or sad about change.  The people and memories that made your community will always be a part of who you are and no change will diminish their importance and influence on you.

My Reflections:
2 Challenges
• For our students, the closure of schools was a significant change.  Students did not have much time to prepare and the longer the pandemic lasts, the more changes they have to adapt to.  End of the year celebrations are being cancelled along with summer travel plans and camps.  It is hard to manage all of that change at the same time.
• In the past few weeks, my parents sold my childhood home, one that our family has owned for 44 years.  It was a significant change and it felt harder because there were things we could not do to celebrate this move (having people over to say goodbye, celebrating final holidays there together, etc.).  In trying to adapt to this change, I came across this thought. “What is it that makes us mourn the loss of a structure? It’s not the great architecture, or the way the light pours in through the windows in the morning. It’s the loss of the vessel that held our memories. It’s almost as if leaving a home rich in such a lived-in history causes our memories to spill out everywhere, and we feel like we’ve spun out of orbit, scrambling to collect them.”  I was saddened by the loss of this “vessel” and that led me to find ways to help preserve the memories I had in this house (creating a photo album, writing these memories in a letter, taking videos and pictures as we said goodbye to the house, etc.).

2 Positives
• We are finding ways to adapt to these changes in non-traditional ways. To celebrate graduations and birthdays, people are making tribute videos and planning virtual celebrations that are more personalized than a large group celebration might have been.
• Coping with many of these changes is helping to build resilience.  At the beginning of all of this, I did not feel that I had the skills to work through and support my children through 10 weeks of distance learning.  It has not been easy for many of us but we accomplished this goal – we adapted to the change and along with way, hopefully gained some new skills.

What can I do differently tomorrow to adapt to change?
• I love this quote by Dr. Seuss “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.”  There is sadness and grief when we have significant change in our life but there is also joy and happiness in remembering the positive experiences.  Finding new ways to celebrate the positives has been something I have enjoyed these past few months and I will continue to look for ways to do this as I am faced with more changes.

Your Reflections:
2 Challenges
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2 Positives
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What can you do differently tomorrow to adapt to change?
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