Joy

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen

Joy was the December character trait for this school year.  In our growth journal, joy is defined as “finding a way to be happy even when things do not go your way.” Admittedly, I have always thought of joy as “finding a way to be happy” without giving much thought to the second part of the definition “even when things do not go your way.”  Experiencing joy when things do not go as planned is much harder and takes a lot of work – it really challenges us to shift our thinking.  We could all agree that things are not going the way that any of us planned right now.   There are many things in life that easily bring us happiness – family, friends, accomplishments, celebrations, vacations, etc.- and we are collectively feeling grief over missing those things right now.  It is easy to be consumed with focusing on the things that are missing in our lives and let those thoughts shape our outlook on the world.  There is research to support how our minds are easily trained to look for the negative in our environment.  In the book, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor, researchers have found that tax auditors who spend hours a day scanning tax forms for mistakes have brains that become “wired” to look for mistakes.  Even beyond their work day, these auditors continue to scan their worlds for the worst.  When people are not able to “compartmentalize” the ability to look for mistakes, they tend to overgeneralize this scanning to find all of the “mistakes” around them.  People can get stuck in a negative pattern of thinking and need to work to shift their thinking to look for the positives.  Activities such as gratitude journaling are helpful in scanning the world for the positives.   Additionally, by putting the “work” into “finding a way to be happy,” the joy that we experience in reaching that goal makes that accomplishment even better. Reflecting on the definition helped me to recognize that joy doesn’t always just “happen” to us. We have to work on scanning our environment for the positives even when things do not always go our way.  And maybe when we return our more hectic schedule, it will be easier to find the joy in our everyday routines that perhaps we had overlooked before.  Here are some additional suggestions and ways to find joy in your world:  https://becomingunbusy.com/choose-joy/

My Reflections:

2 Challenges

• Research has shown that our minds are programmed to take notice of negative news and remember it more than the good news we hear.  We are hearing a lot of negative news right now (spread of the disease, increased death, economic struggles, etc.) and these stories tend to have a strong imprint in our minds.  
• We are experiencing grief over missing many people and events and it is hard to “feel joy” in the midst of these losses.

2 Positives

• This past weekend, the weather was exceptionally beautiful. If it had been the typical first weekend of May, our weekend would have been full of sporting events, social events, and errands to run.  Hearing that all of these things were cancelled did not bring us joy (well maybe the cancelled errands did!).  Being stuck at home and doing yard work did not inspire joy either.  However, with picture perfect weather, we were able to find joy in our alternative plans.  The joy I felt this weekend was measurable – from sending texts with sunshine emoji’s and smiley faces to commenting to any neighbor that passed by just how beautiful the day was, I was aware of that happiness throughout the weekend. We completed many yard projects, listened to music, ate outside, and noticed our neighbors building gardens, opening their pools, and playing games in their yard. We all felt joy this weekend even though none of these activities were part of our original plans.  
• Having additional free time to “notice” the positives in my environment allows me more “practice” and mindfulness in appreciating the positives.  We are all “taking time to stop and smell the flowers.”

What can I do differently tomorrow to recognize joy?

• Continuing to write down three things each day that you are grateful for or that bring you joy is way to help your mind scan for the positives.  It has helped me notice the small things in my environment that I might not be looking for but that bring joy to my world.  

Your Reflections:

2 Challenges

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2 Positives

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What can you do differently tomorrow to recognize joy?

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