Trust and Relationships

Day 17 – Trust and Relationships

“It takes a village to raise a child.” 

Trust was the character trait for the September of this school year.  In our growth journals, trust is defined as “putting your confidence in someone you can depend on.”  Many of our children are struggling now with online learning because they can’t “see” the people that they depend on and trust.  Besides their teachers and friends, there are bus drivers, office staff, cafeteria helpers, custodians and paraprofessionals who make up the “village” that our students depend on.  These people all provide a sense of normalcy and routine which helps children to feel secure and safe. This trust comes from a pattern of interactions where children learn that they can rely on the adults in their lives based on previous positive interactions.  Much of the anxiety that I am hearing now from families is about the transition to next year – will my children be ready for next year academically, will they be able to handle the demands of the school year, will they be stressed when they are back at school?  For the big transition years to elementary, middle, high school, and beyond, the anxiety is even greater because of the uncertainty. At the root of this anxiety is the trust in the people that we depend on.  Without knowing who will be teaching our children, it is hard to trust that those supportive relationships will be formed.  In situations where I start to feel anxiety about these transitions, it helps to remind myself of times where my children were making a transition and there was anxiety about that change. Once they met their teachers and began to form trusting relationships, everyone’s anxiety decreased.  We talk a lot about relationship building in education as being key to students’ learning and success. Knowing that trust is a critical component to relationship building is important when we plan for our transition back to brick and mortar learning.   Even when the people that we trust are not physically present in our lives, the relationships we have formed with them continues to shape who we are. Just like courage, thinking of times when you have tried something new and trusted those who taught you will continue to build resilience in difficult situations. Maybe when we look beyond the anxiety we feel over these changes, we will recognize that what we are feeling is the loss of the people and things that we “trusted.” These people and things are still there; like joy, we just have to look a little harder to find them and keep those connections going.  One more thought to consider when building trust – our students and our children are looking to us and trusting us to keep them safe during this pandemic. Continuing to work on ways that we can handle our anxiety about these changes will also have a benefit to the children we are caring for.  As the author L.R. Knost shared, “When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” For some fun ideas in building trust, here is a list of workplace team building exercises that can be adapted to a classroom or family video conference.  https://snacknation.com/blog/virtual-team-building/

My Reflections:

2 Challenges

• We can’t see the symbols that represent all that we trust right now – the schools, the workplaces, etc. that remind us of the trusting relationships we have in our lives.
• It is hard to trust a future that we are so uncertain about – when we will go back to work and school, will we stay healthy, will our loved ones remain healthy?  When we do not have that predictability, our anxiety and uncertainty increases.

2 Positives

• I have more time to have conversations and evaluate the news I hear so that I can form my own opinions and make an educated decision about who to trust.
• We have found creative ways to continue to maintain relationships and trust in the people around us.  Because we are physically distanced, we are making more of an effort to connect with family and to maintain those connections.

What can I do differently tomorrow to build trust?

• I am going to try a scavenger hunt activity from the team building exercises with my own children. I also offer a “feelings” scavenger hunt during my daily office hours (11-12) for any student who wants to join!

Your Reflections:

2 Challenges

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2 Positives

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What can you do differently tomorrow to build trust?

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